Serenity Logs: a BIC collection
by J. Maria
Summary: BIC challenge fics set in the future world of Firefly & Serenity. Multiple characters & pairings.
1. Two Ways to Be: 21 for 21

Title: Two Ways to be In the Pooh  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG - all the way  
Disclaimer: Not mine, and even though I really want a Jayne - I don't have one. Joss owns _Serenity_, and Disney owns _Winnie the Pooh_  
Spoilers: HUGE SPOILERS for the Big Damn Movie, er _Serenity _I don't think there are any for Winnie the Pooh  
Characters: River, Jayne, (hint of Rayne), Mal, Wash  
Three Words: London, telephone booth, rain cloud  
Word Count: 708  
Summary: Landing on New London leads to all kinds of discoveries.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 2/21  
Dedication Notes: Dedicated to my one of my best friends Lindsay, who in a recent conversation involving our mutual obsession with _Serenity_ (I got her into it and made her all obsessed) said that she would love to see/read me try to write a Serenity/Winnie the Pooh crossover. It stuck, (because she knows I can't resist a challenge) and now this. She also sparked off the whole 21 for 21 idea.

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Two Ways to be in the Pooh

The rain clouds pick up as River begins the decent into New London. She's never been here before, but she has. Her hands go to the three switches automatically, connecting with him for just a moment in time. He's humming.

_"I'm just a little black rain cloud, hovering under your honey tree,"_ He smiles at her, nodding along, telling her what buttons to push, how to hold the controls, how to treat the dinos. And she smiles, thinking of him. Even though he's long gone, he is still so much a part of this ship.

"You started entry without me, lil albatross," Mal mutters, stomping onto the bridge.

"Had to, no choice. Gotta a job what needs to be done, gotta be on time," River replied, using her best Cap'n voice.

"Well, Linny ain't the best contact we got, and she runs a tight outfit. Ain't lookin to get shot up by one of our few remaining contacts, _dong ma_?"

"Will anyway, you're highly shootable," River rolled her eyes, listening faintly for his laugh.

_"Its true, he gets shot the most out of everybody. Man must have a target on his back_."

"I ain't. I just -"

"Put yourself in situations where you're likely to get shot, or stabbed, or beaten or -"

"I've had enough 'ors' outta ya, girl. Just fly my boat and get me to my rendezvous point!" Mal yelled.

"Aye, aye, Cap'n Tightpants," River saluted him before preparing to go for descent.

As soon as _Serenity _had landed, she made her way to prep the mule. River sat with her knees tucked up under her chin, surprising the rest of the crew by pulling on her goggles.

"Where do you think yer goin'?" Jayne snapped.

"The Hundred Acre Woods, to follow the willy, silly, nilly old bear," River said calmly.

"What?"

"Need a pilot, got a pilot. Better if I come. Remember Lilac?"

"Reavers are dead, moon-brain, don't need a reader."  
"Can still be shot by mortal men, bear."

"Huh?" Before she could answer, Mal started making a fuss.

"River, what are you -"

"Fully capable, need a reader."

"Need a pilot more. Ain't nobody else on this ship what can fly _Serenity_."

__

"Stand your ground, Cap'n respects that sometimes. Or, you know, he has no control over the client's patience, which is fraying."

"Am needed."

"Cap'n we don't have time to argue. Linny's already chompin at the bit to get this delivery squared away," Zoe interrupted, loading the last crate onto the mule.

"Fine."

At the very edge of New London, a red telefonix booth stood reminiscent of sentries at their post. A woman in her late twenties stood in full kimono dress looking rather annoyed. A sun bonnet was perched on her head and her fingers were strumming the handle of a laser pistol. Linny did not look happy.

"You're late. Badger warned me to expect as much from you, Malcolm Reynolds," she said haughtily.

"Well, if you hadn't picked a spot in the middle of nowhere, I reckon we would a got here a lot faster," Mal grinned.

"Your charm won't work on me, Mal. Never did before, won't work now. Got my goods?"

"Got my money?"

"Seems like an awful lot of people to drop three crates, Mal," Linny replied, tossing him the money pouch.

"Tell that to your five boys we took out before comin' here," Mal nodded to Jayne and Zoe to unload the crates.

"You always were a _hundan_, Mal."

"Yeah, but one you really like."

And that's when the bullets started raining down. River dove for Jayne, yanking him out of the way of the spray of bullets before slapping a gun in his hand. Cap'n went down first with a vicious thigh wound, and Zoe helped drag him onto the mule.

"Never goes smooth! How come it never goes smooth?" Mal yelled as River sped back to the ship.

"Poor planning, and your Eyeore complex," River replied. "You never think it'll go smooth, so it never does."

Mal only gawked at her before ordering her to go faster. River ignored him and started humming.

_"Everyone knows that a rain cloud doesn't eat honey, no not a sip. I'm just a little black rain cloud, wondering where I will drip."_


	2. Three Gifts: 21 for 21

Title: Three Gifts  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, and you've seen how badly he treats them!  
Pairing: Wash/Zoe  
Three: slinky, dinosaur, leaf  
Word Count: 166  
Summary: Gift giving.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 3/21  
Dedication: to loketari for the characters and the three words

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Three Gifts

The first gift Zoe ever gave him was an orange plastic stegosaurus. It had been on their third date, and he'd seen it in the window of one of the closed shops they'd passed in order to get back to _Serenity_ to make a drop. She'd waved them and had the shopkeepers send it to her at their next scheduled mail pick up.

The first gift Wash ever gave to Zoe was a plastic fall leaf that lit up to remind her of their first date. It had been a blustery autumn day and all the gods in the verse must have been against him, because the leaves kept hitting him in the face. But she'd laughed at how he handled it. He'd simply stuck out his arms and yelled.

"I am a tree, all leaves cling to me! I'm lord of the leaves!"

Their first mutual gift had been a slinky black dress. He'd bought it for her, and she'd taken it off for him.


	3. Five Moments of Your Time: 21 for 21

Title: Five Moments of Your Time  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, bastard.  
Pairing: Kaylee/Simon  
Three: sleep, science, kiss  
Word Count:  
Summary: I just need five moments of your time, doc  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 5/21  
Dedication: to softbrowneyes for the characters and the three words

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Five Moments of Your Time

"Simon, could I steal you away for a few seconds?" Kaylee asked brightly, as she popped her head in the med lab.

Simon had been in there pouring over his medical and science texts trying to find a cross reference to what they had done to River. He had been going at it for hours now, trying to find some answers or a solution to this problem. All it had gotten him was a few sleepless nights. He nodded to Kaylee before heading out into the common area. Kaylee smiled brightly when she saw him follow her down to the passenger dorms.

"What's wrong? Is everything all right with River?" Simon questioned.

"Yeah, she's up on the bridge with Wash. Yer lookin' pretty bad, Simon."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I don't mean to sound bad or nothin', but you ain't been sleeping since the bounty hunter showed up. Not right anyway."

"Being woken up and held at gunpoint aren't exactly congruent to getting a good night's sleep," he smiled.

"Well, that's what I figgered. Need some exercise, you know, somethin that'll wear you out so's you can just drop into sleep."

"Somehow I don't think Jayne would let me use his weights," Simon frowned, watching her hands dip behind her.

"Weren't Jayne's weight bench I was offerin', doc," she smiled.

Dipping her head forward, she quickly placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth, his body stiffening in response. He started to back up, but his eyes felt suddenly heavy, and felt his knees buckle. Kaylee's eyes went wide, and he thought he could see her motioning to someone.

"What -" Simon managed to slip out before collapsing in a heap.

Jayne all but growled at Kaylee, who looked down at Simon as if he were a puppy she'd kicked on accident. He rolled his eyes as he handed her the syringe, and half dragged Simon back into his dorm.

"Don't ask me to help you do this again, lil Kaylee."  
"Doc needed to sleep. He was gonna get hisself sick otherwise, and where'd we be if one a you got shot or injured on the next job?" Kaylee said tearfully.


	4. Eight Different Feelings: 21 for 21

Title: Eight Different Feelings  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, the lucky bastard.  
Pairing: Jayne/River  
Three: silk, scissors, card  
Word Count: 856  
Summary: Eight different feelings he has about her.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 8/21  
Dedication: to dubbage42 for the characters and the three words

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Eight Different Feelings

He'd been in the mess, mindin' his own _gorram_ business when Moon-Braind run in, yammering on about some such thing Jayne'd didn't give a shit about. Then she'd started tuggin on him, beggin' him to follow her. He'd just shrugged her off. Had plans for the day, was going to visit the whore house later since the Cap'n said they'd be landlocked for a few days.

"Remember, I can kill you with my brain," she'd said with such deadly certainty.

Jayne Cobb weren't scared a much, but the crazy girl ranked right up there with the gorram Reavers and Zoe on a real bad day. So he followed her and got as far as the crew quarters when the world went black.

When he came too, his eyes were covered by a red, shiny cloth. He went to remove it, but his hands and feet were bound to what he figgered was his bed. He visibly jumped when icy fingers touched his naked flesh. It was then that he realized he was naked 'cept for his boxers. That made him angry enough to push down the fear and excitement that had begun to build.

"Gorrammit, Moon-brain, I'm gonna put a bullet in yer brainpan if'n you don't let me outta here!" he growled, to which she simply giggled.

"Tries to be scary, tries to hide the fear. Can't, fails both tests for no effort," River whispered, her fingers curling in his chest hair. "Likes the fear, makes him hard without even trying."

His spine stiffened as she curled a finger around his nipple, felt the brush of her dress on his stomach. She bent low, her lips hovering inches from his ear.

"Makes the blood boil, the heart beat faster than one of his whores would do. Pain, death, life, completion, explosion, mixed to perfection. Makes him fly."

And then he felt another coldness touch his inner thigh, and he froze. What was River doing with Boo? The metal caressed his skin and Jayne held his breath and tried to inch his man-bits as far away from the knife as possible.

"You move, you bleed," River hissed, slipping the blade of the knife under his boxers. Two simple slices, one made over each thigh.

He felt the cotton slip away and felt the cold air slap at him. The bed dipped a bit with the added weight of River. She knelt above him, her hand placing only the lightest touches to his now throbbing member. Her thighs were warm against his, and he felt her skirt float around his midsection. Then she lowered herself. Soft, cool material touched him, and he could feel a pin prick of warmth sear through the cloth.

He gritted his teeth as she began to rock, flesh beneath cloth rubbing. The friction and the heat moved slowly, setting an even pace. Jayne tugged on the bonds once more, but they seemed to tighten rather than give. Her hips picked up the pace, shifting a little bit faster with each thrust. Her lips overflowed with nonsensical words as her fingers and lips traced every scar on the mercenary's chest, shoulders, and neck. The overload of sensations slammed repeatedly into him, as River moved faster and faster, biting lightly on his left nipple.

Didn't take long for them both to explode. River shivered, her body going limp against him, her head resting comfortably against his chest. Jayne fell heavily into slumber, no matter that he was naked, tied to his own gorram bed with Crazy straddling him fully clothed. She was a warm little blanket, and he'd just come harder than he woulda had with the whore he'd scheduled for tonight, and he ain't even got inside a her. His last thought before he fell asleep, was that they'd have to try this again with her being naked and tied up.

* * *

There was a riot at the whore house that night, and a bloody gunfight. Mal searched the whole ship looking for Jayne. It was on the third time that he passed Jayne's bunk that he saw the card attached to it. It simply read, in River's tiny scrawl,

__

When the riot breaks out, get off world fast. Jayne's sleeping here tonight.

"Wash, get ready to break atmo," Mal hollered.

"Jayne back yet?"

"I don't think he ever left."

"Has anyone seen River?" Simon asked, running up to Mal with Kaylee close behind him.

"Did Jayne get outta the whore house before the fight?" Kaylee asked, staring at the card on his bunk door.

"I'm gonna go find out," Mal answered, popping Jayne's bunk door open.

He nearly fell off the ladder when he saw River sprawled on top of a very naked Jayne. He gagged and hurried back up the ladder. Simon and Kaylee both gave him confused looks.

"Your sister's in Jayne's bunk, asleep," Mal said, shutting the door tightly behind him.

"What? How did she get down there?"

"I don't know."

"Jayne ain't gonna be happy when he finds her there," Kaylee fretted.

"I think Jayne ain't gonna care, seein' as he's down there with her."

"What?" Simon yelled.


	5. Nine Meanings of Pain: 21 for 21

Title: Nine Meanings of Pain  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: Pg-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them, and youve seen how badly he treats them!  
Pairing: Jayne, River  
Three: kill, slash, crush  
Word Count: 471  
Summary: Pain and pleasure go hand in hand  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 9/21  
Dedication: to missmaximus for the characters and the three words

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Nine Meanings of Pain

She liked that she could scare Jayne. It made her stronger, having the knowledge that the big, tough mercenary was scared of a girl who weighed a hundred pounds soaking wet. Because he thought she could kill him with her brain.

Of course, the brain was the core, the base of all bodily functions, so she hadn't been lying to him. Her brain would be responsible if she should strike out at him and kill him. She cocked her head at him, and watched as his step faltered.

It was kind of fun, playing this how-much-can-I-effect-Jayne game of hers. She would occasionally jump out of nowhere to alarm him, hold a butter knife out to him blade first. Stare at him for ten minutes without blinking.

Three weeks after the Early incident, River had snuck into Jayne's bunk. It was a variable she hadn't tried yet. The bed was made and all of his guns were safely tucked behind the protective curtain he'd hoisted up. Captures of his family were half-hidden behind pin-ups. It smelled relatively clean and well organized, which warred at the image she had of Jayne. She was spinning in a slow circle when Jayne stomped down the ladder. She froze.

He glared at her back, not sure if he was dreaming or what. Weren't everyday he found a girl in his bunk. Specially one with such a nice ass on her. He frowned. That ass was all manners of familiar.

River blushed at the thoughts that skittered across his mind. He'd looked at her ass before? And he liked it? She could tell he did: his body's reaction, the thump of his heart were enough to convince her.

He stomped forward to haul her out of his bunk. Not nobody came into his bunk uninvited. But he was inches away from her when she turned. Her eyes were clouded with a hungry look, and he backed up a step. She grinned at him. Her hand struck out, slashing down the front of his shirt and finding purchase. She closed the distance between them quickly, her body pressed firmly to his.

Her free hand hooked itself behind his head, and forcefully yanked his mouth down to hers. He bucked his head back a bit, but River would not be denied. She crushed her lips to his, nipping at him with her teeth. She bit down lightly when he started to pull back, and her tongue felt coppery as she slipped it inside his mouth.

And then he was kissin' the air, his body primed and his mouth still working. She slipped up the ladder before he even realized she'd gone. He heard her voice trickle down the ladder.

"Copper for a kiss."

River decided then that this game would be much more fun than her old game.


	6. Thirteen Lucky or Not: 21 for 21

Title: Thirteen - Lucky or Not  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them - well, youve seen how he treats them. They really should be ours.  
Pairing: Wash/Zoe  
Three: first, time, fiction  
Word Count: 881  
Summary: How they got to be. ..  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 13/21  
Dedication: to meloradhahn for the characters and the three words  
A/N: I could not get it to stick to a hard NC-17 for some reason. They fought me tooth and nail on it.

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Thirteen - Lucky or Not

He remembered checking the time seeing the number thirteen flash back at him. He remembered thinking that it was an unlucky number. And then he'd felt her hand on his shoulder. And the undignified screaming that had followed.

"You plannin' on waking the whole crew, Washburne?" Zoe asked, a faint smile on her lips.

"Wasn't planning on havin' company, and it's Wash," he muttered. Wished he had a better comeback than that, but truth be told, Zoe set him on edge.

He'd always had a thing for warrior women, if he was being honest with himself. And Zoe was one hell of a warrior women. Course she couldn't stand him. Now she was eyeballin' him from the co-pilot seat, and Wash felt like he'd sprouted another head.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

"No. Still too keyed up from the gunfight," Zoe replied. She glanced over at him. "Why're you still up?"

"Just watchin' the stars. Can't see 'em for all the pollution on my home world. Think I went to flight school just to figure what the hell everybody was talking about," he laughed.

"I grew up on a ship little bigger than this. Ain't nothing quite like bein' out in the black."

"I didn't know you grew up on a spaceship," Wash murmured.

"Some times I think I joined up just to see what the hell everybody was talkin' about," Zoe replied, a small smile on her lips. "Glad you shaved that gorram thing off, by the way. It was all kinds of wrong."

"Shaved my 'stache? That why you don't like me?" Wash laughed.

"I think its what bothered me about you. Didn't look right."

"No, and the face of a teenager looks better," he said ruefully, looking away from her penetrating gaze.

"On you it does. The lip ferret made you look like Alliance."

"I was proud of that lip ferret, thank you," Zoe shrugged at this.

He was a good looking man, and he was funny. Most of the pilots she'd known were either too full of themselves or too childish. The man collected plastic dinosaurs for Buddha's sake. But that was part of his charm. Man had charm, and he could fly a boat, and he was funny. So why did he still bother her?

She let him talk for a few hours, going on about nothing, and she felt his voice wrap around her like a warm blanket. He did have a really nice voice, when he wasnt screaming like a girl. She hadn't even realized that she'd closed her eyes until she felt a hand touch her shoulder. The soldier in her took over, and her foot lashed out to knock her would be attacker to the ground, and rolled herself in a way to pin her assailant down. Her gun was aimed at him.

"Dear God in Heaven, Zoe! It's me! Wash!" Wash groaned.

"What the _hell _were you trying to do, pilot?" Zoe demanded.

"You fell asleep, I was trying to cover you with a blanket, not jump your bones!" Wash blurted out.

Zoe blinked. Nobody tried to look out for her, 'cept for the captain. One eyebrow rose in accusation when she felt Wash stir beneath her. He grinned sheepishly at her.

"It's not like I can control it, you know! It's not like I have beautiful women on top of me every _gorram _day!"

"You tryin' to flatter me?"

"Is it working?"

"A bit," Zoe said grudgingly. He wasn't as soft as she'd have thought. Man had more muscle on him that he hid well under those wild print shirts of his.

She lowered her weapon, stretching back to set it on the co-pilot's seat. Wash groaned a bit at the action, because she had to stretch right over him. She nodded to the control panel.

"She on autopilot?"

"Yeah, had to put it on when I went to get the blanket. Why?"

Zoe didn't speak, merely started working the buttons of his shirt open. Wash gaped up at her, getting harder by the second. She gave him a look, and he swallowed visibly before his shaky hands went to her shirt.

The need was coursing through her, and she wasn't sure if this was the sanest thing to do, but she did it anyway. Her lips crushed against his forcefully, her hips grinding against his. He sat up quickly, throwing her a bit off balance.

Hands surged over bare flesh, seeking purchase. Her lips suckled tightly on his flesh, sending his breath hissing through his teeth. Her damp, hot center clamped around rigid flesh, their motions blurring into incoherency.

When it was through, they clung to each other for a short while. Zoe was the first to move, tugging her pants back on, but forgoing her boots. She waited until he could move, could dress himself and move back behind the controls before she headed back to her bunk.

"This can't happen again. It was a one time thing, Wash," she said quietly. "Cap'n's got rules on this. Can't let it be more than a one time thing."

She didn't wait for his answer, but simply padded down the steps towards the crew bunks. Wash grinned to himself.

"That was no one-time kinda thing, lamby toes," he grinned, the stars his only audience.


	7. Fifteen Bowls of Wife Soup: 21 for 21

Title: Fifteen Bowls of Wife Soup  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them - and weve seen what he does to them!  
Pairing: Wash/Zoe  
Three: birthday, celebration, marriage  
Word Count: 240  
Summary: Fifteen bowls is his limit. ..  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 15/21  
Dedication: to vandonovan for the characters and the three words

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Fifteen Bowls of Wife Soup

He remembered the first time she'd made it before they had been married. It had been spicy and sweet, and he'd - in a last ditch effort to make her warm up to him - had sung it's praises even when it tasted a bit off, and Mal had given him a look. Because he loved her.

In the years they'd been together, she had only made it fifteen times for him. Each time had been special, either his birthday or their anniversary, or like the time theyd save'd him and Mal from Niska.

But when his birthday rolled around, with gifts from all the crew including a blue brontosaurus from River and new shirt from Mal, Wash didn't get his staple present from Zoe. There was no bowl of Wife Soup waiting for him, with its spicy and sweet goodness. He looked at her confused, wondering for a second if he'd done something wrong. He was looking forward to Wife Soup.

"What - no soup?" Wash asked.

"I thought I'd give you a reprieve from it this year, honey," Zoe smiled, pressing a kiss to his brow.

"But - I like Wife Soup. Didn't I do good?"

"You did real good, which is why you got the reprieve," Zoe replied. "I've got better things planned for our private celebration."

"Better than Wife Soup?" Wash grinned, letting Zoe lead him out of the mess.

"Loads better than my soup."

"Yay."


	8. Sixteen Times: 21 for 21

Title: Sixteen Times  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13 (aimed for smut I swear, got fluff instead)  
Disclaimer: Joss is god, I merely worship him. And occasionally burn his effigy, but only when he deserves it.  
Pairing: Jayne/Kaylee  
Three: flail, gratuitous, adoration  
Word Count: 570  
Summary: Its the cheer thatll do a man in, not the wound itself.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 16/21  
Dedication: to cunninghat for the characters and the three words  
A/N: Okay, I should have stopped at watching _The Princess Bride_ somewhere around the second viewing, really cuz - this is just so inspired by that gorram movie.

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Sixteen Times

"Sixteen _gorram_ times, Kaylee! SIXTEEN! Tha' counts as a gratuitous overuse a you bein' so damn cheerful. Makes a man wanna kill hisself just ta be rid a your cheery face!" Jayne grumbled, stalking - or rather hobbling around the cargo bay. Weren't supposed to be movin round at all, but Jayne'd never been one to sit round all day on his ass doin' nothing.

"Jayne, I ain't ever see nobody heal as fast as you do. Normal people's supposed ta take time and heal real slow like. You just jump up after only two days ago, Simon'd reckoned you for dead. Real shiny improvement, you bein' able to hobble in here today is all," Kaylee looked a bit crestfallen, and it had the same effect on him as it always did. He either wanted to kill her quicker or hug her.

But seein' as it were Kaylee, he couldn't rightly do either of 'em without gettin' shot up - and he was still gettin' over that pesky wound one a Patience's boys had got in him during that _go-se_ plan a Ma'ls not a week ago. Right now, he weren't up to her adoration and care, cause he were still pissed bout the whole situation.

"Me bein' able to hobble leanin' on a pair a crutches and havin' to stop every five _gorram_ seconds is 'bout as comfortable as having a stick shoved up my _pigu_," Jayne gritted.

"But it's a start! Aint'cha happy to be outta the med lab?" Kaylee smiled, and Jayne felt (for all a two seconds, mind ya) that everything was right and shiny with the world. "Getcha away from Simon, if'n its only just for a few minutes?" There was a sadness in her voice, but Jayne shoved away the concern about what that _hundan_ of a big city dandy'd done to make the ships sweetheart all down in the face. That and the murderous thoughts he'd had towards the doc since he'd set foot on _Serenity_.

"Even if I get splinters in my ass," Jayne grumbled, tryin' to maneuver hisself down onto one of the crates. 'Cept his aim were a bit off do to the drugs the doc'd given him.

"Jayne! Careful!" Kaylee cried, racing over to balance him. But all she ended up doing was flail her arms about a bit before grabbin' at him as he tumbled down, taking her with him.

They were both in an ungraceful heap on the floor of the cargo bay. Kaylee was on top of him, her hands checking his wounds to see if they'd started bleeding again. She sat, straddlin' his middle, her hands running all over his body and Jayne felt like he was gonna die. Her butt was restin' right on top a his John Thomas, and if'n she didn't stop her wriggling she'd surely feel it. Been too damn long since he'd got any trim, and the sight a little Kaylee was near 'nuff to send him off the edge.

"Gently," he muttered under his breath.

"Gently? How can - oh, Jayne I -" Kaylee had started to wiggle around even more, but Jayne quickly clamped his hands on her hips to hold her still.

"Gorrammit girl, I know you ain't that thick," he muttered, noticing the little glint in her eye.

"Well, one a us is," Kaylee laughed, before gingerly removing herself from him. "C'mon, floor ain't no place for you to be recuperatin'."


	9. Twenty Minutes in the Airlock: 21 for 21

Title: Twenty Minutes in the Airlock  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: Light R (one situation)  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. Weve seen what hes done to them. So we gank them  
Spoilers: All the aired/unaired Firefly eps - none for the BDM  
Pairing: Jayne/River (minor appearance by Mal and Wash)  
Three: pain, never, baby  
Word Count: 489  
Summary: River wakes up in a very unusual place.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 20/21  
Dedication: to _serphia_ for the characters and the three words  
A/N: In contrast to all of the Jayne-in-the-airlock stories.

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Twenty Minutes in the Airlock

River felt a sharp pain in her back. It didn't hurt much, but rather annoyed her. She was cold too. There was a sharp banging on the window, and she raised her head quickly to see Mal slap the comm sharply against the window. She scrambled across the airlock floor for the other comm.

"Captain Daddy will explain?" She asked angrily, clenching her fists.

"Seems we had a rule on my ship, no inter-crew relations," Mal gave her one of his little smiles. "Seems to me, that you broke that rule when you decided to play with Jayne."

"Wash broke the rule first. Why isn't he in the airlock?"

"Just 'cause yer a mind readin' genius don't mean he ain't ever been in the airlock a'fore," River could hear Jayne say.

"Figgered I put Jayne in there, big ox won't take the threat serious like he oughta. You -"

"Won't do it. Won't never say the words," River glared.

She knew the full of it now, knew who did the carryin' - knew who told. Knew the preacher man was standing right beside him, waiting for her to say the words. Knew Simon was getting drunk in the mess while Inara tried to explain, and Kaylee comforted him.

"Never will I say I do - not to you, Jayne Cobb. Not in an airlock."

"Ain't good fer the baby, River," Jayne groaned, yanking the comm away from Mal. "Just say the gorram words and we'll talk bout this all reasonable and the like."

"No. She will not say the words, not while Jayne still refuses to kiss on the mouth. Not after he has dined on all the treasures she has given and still refuses to dine on the greatest organ she has. No. She will not say the words, not even for the sake of the little one. Never."

She walked right up to the window, standing on the tips of her toes, and gave him the smallest of smiles. Jayne gulped visibly, and she could see Mal and Shepherd Book glaring at the big man. He fully deserved it for putting her in this situation.

"Never again will the girl clench him tightly between her thighs, lick his flesh when he begs for more, ride him till the stars are beneath his eyelids, and hold him against her lips to drain him. Because. He. Doesn't. Kiss," she said in a breathy voice that she knew always made him painfully aware.

She got all the satisfaction in the 'verse seeing Mal look like he was gonna faint, and Shepherd Book looking distinctly uncomfortable. But the look of pained agony on Jayne's face gave her all that and more.

"Dear god heaven, let her outta the airlock!" Wash's voice rang throughout the ship. "I can't hear her talk about sexin' Jayne up! He can convince her to marry him another way that doesn't involve her talking about sex!"


	10. A Stickler for TwentyOne: 21 for 21

Title: A Stickler for Twenty-One  
Series: 21 for 21  
Author: jmaria  
Rating: PG-13 -some suggestive talk  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. Weve seen what hes done to them. So we gank them  
Spoilers: Yes, for the BDM. Youve been warned, people.  
Pairing: Mal/River  
Three: defenestrate, frolic, hat  
Word Count:766  
Summary: The Captains little albatross is growing up.  
Notes: 21 for 21 is my insane plan to write 21 ficlets for my birthday. . . except that people on lj give me a pairing and three words.  
Count: 21/21  
Dedication: to pandora049 for the characters and the three words  
A/N: This is my first Mal/River fic. While I do enjoy the pairing, I've never actually written it. So.

__

A Stickler for Twenty-One

It'd been three years since Miranda. Three long years, years that since then crew'd lost not only Book and Wash, but Inara as well. She'd managed to stay on ship for all of five months before it got to her. Claimed he'd changed, that it weren't love. Two years since Simon'd grown a pair and finally did right by lil Kaylee, who was full on her way to becomin' a mother for the second time. Year since Zoe'd gotten herself in a bad way, nearly died. Mal wouldn't wager that part a her was still dead, had been since that day on Mr. Universe's moon when the Reavers had killed Wash.

Jayne was still the arrogant sumabitch that he'd always been, seemed kinda surprised he'd make it to see forty in a year or so's time. And as for little River - well, hell, she was the reason he was thinkin' of keel-hauling Jayne right this very moment.

"What in the gorram hell are you doin' to my pilot?" Mal hollered, hearing River's smothered giggles, but glaring at the big merc the whole time.

"Aw, come off it Mal, just sharin' the hooch," Jayne chuckled, tossing back another shot.

"And his fun hat!" River burst out, tugging the hideously bright and worn hat over her eyes. Jayne caught sight of her and burst into a fit of laughs.

Mal didn't know what bothered him more. The fact that his underage pilot was gettin' sloshed when she was supposed to be flyin' his gorram boat or the fact that she was sittin' all prettily in Jayne's lap wearing one of her tiny little dresses. River grinned at him from under the hat.

"Jayne, she ain't old enough to be drinkin' -"

"Hell, Mal, gorram moon-brain's old nuff to kill Reavers and pilot this boat, reckon she's old nuff to drink. Killed more men then me when I was her age," Jayne laughed.

"Jayne, go to your bunk." Mal snapped, glaring at him.

Instead'a fightin him, Jayne just grinned at him. Mal took one step back, but Jayne merely plucked his hat off of River's head and went to his bunk. River pouted at him. Mal just rolled his eyes as he went to her.

"C'mon, lil albatross, off to bed."

"Wanna frolic. Was havin' a merry time, Cap'n Tightpants," River grumbled as she rose shakily to her feet. Cap'n's got somethin lodged up his _pigu_ can't even letta girl enjoy her frolic."

"Don't mind ya frolickin', sweetie - an' my pants ain't all that tight. Everybody makes a fuss about 'em!" Mal muttered.

"I could just defenestrate you," River laughed. "Whoosh, watch the cap'n soar - plop."

"Keep on usin' them big words a yours, River. Don't rightly know if you really know what yer sayin'," Mal said flatly, leading her towards her bunk. Had been Kaylee's, till she and the doc got hitched. "Besides, for a genius you pick the wrong company to get drunk with."

"Always know, I make sense to you," River shook her arm out of his grasp and glared at him, looking more sober than she had a second ago. "Company I keep ain't no matter of yours. Just a pilot, pinch hitter, worth going to battle over but not worthy enough to love. And it hurts. Old enough to be a killer, but not to drink - not to love," River's voice broke a little as she grabbed Mal by the suspenders. "Can't see the woman, just the mission."

River pulled him down to her, kissing him sharply on the mouth. Mal's eyes stayed wide open, but hers fluttered closed. He felt her sink against him, and Mal started to shove her back. But River was stronger, and held him in place, nudging her tongue against his lips. Gorrammit, if he did'nt give in, and let her kiss him. Didn't kiss her back until he was startled into it. River grinned against his lips, one hand still squeezing his left butt cheek as the other worked its way into his hair. When she drew back, the Cap'n stumbled forward a bit.

"Gonna have to throw out that rule, Mal," River giggled.

"What rule?"

"No touchin' till she's twenty-five. She enjoys the touch," River grinned. "Makes her feel whole again." She frowned at Mal before swatting him hard on the butt. "Don't think that!"

"Ow! Gorrammit, girl, you are a mean an' ornery drunk," Mal said, rubbing his butt.

"I learned it from my Captain," River said, yanking him back down to her lips. "And you're not going to the Special Hell."


	11. Inherently Flawed: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Inherently Flawed  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-21  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly  
Character(s): Jayne/River  
Spoilers: Serenity  
Summary: You did it out of spite  
Words: 573  
A/N: Because we need jealous!vengeful!Jayne. ^_^ Jayne is also the type that goes straight to the goodies  
Dedication: To momin8r, who requested the characters and the quote. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Inherently Flawed _

_Jayne's Bunk_

_Remember when old ones died and new were born_  
_And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged_  
_We came together, fell apart_  
_And broke each other's hearts_

_~ Remember When, Alan Jackson_

* * *

It had been a step - to dance though her heart were breaking. To tease, to flaunt. Girls did those things to incite their lovers. Her mind, as she had danced with the village boys who were eager for a good dance, only clouded and confused. Anger had poured through him, through the cheaply bought prostitute and hurt her heart more than she thought possible.

She had stumbled somewhere in her calculation of things, had missed some hidden step. River fled the dancehall, her heart beating louder, faster as he reached his climax, yelling her name even though she wasn't in his bunk, his seed spilling on the thigh of a woman bought and paid for who didn't kiss. Tears clouded her peripheral vision as she ran farther and faster, ignoring Simon's concern.

River made it to _Serenity_ in time to see the girl leaving, credits in her pocket for services rendered. Jayne stood just outside, smoking a cigar. _Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar_. River stopped in front of him, her eyes following his no matter how hard he tried to look away.

"Gorrammit, girl! Knock it off!" Jayne growled.

"She proudly put it all on display, and yet the bait was not taken," River spat, shoving him against _Serenity'_s hull. Jayne dropped his cigar, not expecting the blow. "He paid for what would be freely given. He is not smart!"

"What a gorram shocker, Crazy," Jayne grabbed her hands as they reached out to hit him again, giving her a rough shake. "Yer fancy Core trainin' finally tell ya that?"

"He is a trained ape without the training, a _hun dun_ that takes and takes and takes," River broke her hand free and clawed at his face, her nails leaving bloody scratches across his cheek.

Jayne turned them both, his body pinning hers against the hull. River's lips quivered, her mind racing as his thoughts overwhelmed her and him. She clawed at him again, her hands finding purchase in his shoulders as she propelled herself upward, her legs wrapping around his hips. Jayne braced himself quickly, as River's mouth crushed against his, her hips undulating against him. Her arm tightened around his shoulders as her hand slipped between them, her fingers pulling on the snaps of his pants. Jayne hissed through his teeth as River's fingers slipped farther down, cupping him. He pushed at her, forcing her back against the hull. His hand dipped behind her lithe body, hands slipping roughly under her frilly skirt to her warmth.

River moaned against his lips, her body quivering as his fingers dipped lower. Her breathing was ragged as she pushed closer to him. _No_, _not yet!_ River thought as she heard the branch crack behind Jayne's back. Her eyes popped open as she watched the remaining crew of _Serenity_ ride up on the mule. Simon looked as if he were going to be ill, and Mal just shut his eyes. Jayne groaned against her shoulder, withdrawing his fingers from her. River, however, would not give up her grip around him.

"Gorrammit, Crazy," Jayne hissed. River only gave him a look.

"We will be in Jayne's Bunk!" River snapped at the remaining crew before she led him off. "We are not finished."


	12. Release Me: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Release Me  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Inara/Mal  
Spoilers: Post-Serenity  
Summary: Could she keep running from this?  
Words: 124  
A/N: More like a missing thought process in Serenity..  
Dedication: To xfirefly9x, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Release Me  
__Shuttle One_

_And you fall away from your past_  
_But It's following you_

_~ Fall Away, The Fray_

* * *

She hadn't been sure what she was going to do. She certainly couldn't go back to the training house, not yet. The closer they got to the planet, the more unsure she was. Did she really want to return to a life of tense relations and strict order? Inara had tried to run from these confusing feelings. She heard herself answering Mals question, and it sounded so unsure to her ears.

"I - I don't know."

He smiled at her, and her heart lifted more than it had in months - years if she was being honest with herself. She'd finally stopped running from her heart.


	13. Incomplete: 22 for 22

Series: 22 for 22  
Title: Incomplete  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-13  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Jayne/River  
Spoilers: Post-Objects in Space  
Summary: Catching a stray thought  
Words: 184  
A/N: So there's a BSB reference in the title *looks around nervously*  
Dedication: To fluties_flake, who requested the characters and the quote source. 

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Incomplete_  
_The Cargo Bay_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you_  
_It's something I must live with everyday_  
_And all the pain I put you through_  
_I wish that I could take it all away_

_~ The Reason, Hoobastank_

* * *

River was free-flowing through her mind, millions of fragments bombarding her mind at any given second. The crew had begun to notice her shadowing of Jayne. Simon feared it, likening Jayne to little more than a trained ape. Wash, Zoe, and Mal saw humor in it, Kaylee thought it sweet, and Inara and Book were no longer on board to think anything of it.

His mind was fairly quiet, and safe harbor in the crushing thoughts of her brother, Mal and Zoe, and the innocent delusions of Kaylee and Wash. His mind was simple and easy to grasp: hunger, sex, money. Every now and then there was a pang of guilt directed at her, but it was fleeting.

River liked the violence and passion in his mind. It was the only thing she could truly related to anymore. Maybe then the incomplete parts of her could heal.


	14. Brute Squad: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Brute Squad  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-1  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Jayne/Mal  
Spoilers: Post-Ariel Pre-War Stories  
Summary: Making up the difference  
Words: 137  
A/N: Another TPB refrence  
Dedication:To prehistoric_sea, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

_**Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two **_

_Brute Squad  
__The Cargo Bay_

_Yeah the highways got_  
_What the dirt roads got_  
_And it doesn't matter if you're happy or not_  
_Cause I been down 'em all before_

_~ Baby's Got a Whole Lot More, Reckless Kelly_

* * *

Mal normally didn't hold grudges, but the Ariel thing had gotten his hackles up and Jayne didn't know what to do with it. Mal hadn't told the crew, but he hadn't said more'n ten words to him in passing. Hadn't come to him when the crew was asleep, or have him pull night shift up in the bridge with him.

And then Jayne had seen the whole crate of apples when they'd gotten their first big cashy money for the meds. "Huh," was all Mal had said when Jayne brought 'em on board.

"Bribes from the brute, who'd a thunk?"


	15. Do As I Say, Not As I Do: 22 for 22

Series:Twelve Days of Christmas  
Title: January Fourth  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns all things Firefly  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Mal/River  
Spoilers: postSerenity  
Summary: Not all gifts come to us on Christmas Day - breaking my resolutions.  
Words: 208  
A/N: no real note, other than to say it changed from the original plan  
Dedication: To yamiselene, who requested the characters.

**__**

Twelve Days of Christmas  
January Fourth  
The Br_idge_

Weren't even four days into the new year that little River Tam shattered his new year's resolution. He wasn't gonna think on her too deeply. No, he was just gonna go and take a page outta Jayne's book and find a good girl that didn't live on his ship and befuddle his mind in such a way that River did. He was gonna stop being a lecherous hump and leave the poor little slightly crazy girl alone. Yup. He was gonna do it.

"Her captain is being rude again," River murmured quietly to him, scaring him half to death with her feminine crazy-girl ways. "He does not comprehend the severity of his actions."

"Oh, he does too much comprehendin' these days, lil albatross," Mal froze a bit as her fingers trailed over the chair and onto his shoulders.

"Then why does he confuse YoSaffBridge with his albatross?" River murmured, her hand raising his face up to see into her eyes. "There is no hell in the certainty of my heart. Special things happen when he believes in her, but nothing to do with hell in their hearts."

And that was all it took to shatter his resolution to himself. He'd never been happier in his whole life to break his word.


	16. Point of No Return: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Point of No Return  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-18  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot and McSeedys.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Jayne/River  
Spoilers: Post Serenity  
Summary: Nobody's innocent anymore, anyway.  
Words: 294  
A/N: my oh my, the many shades of rayne. *g*  
Dedication: To deadpoetwoffie, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

_**Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two**_

_Point of No Return_

_McSeedy's Pub and Hostel, Persephone_

_Past the point_  
_of no return_  
_the final threshold -_  
_the bridge_  
_is crossed, so stand_  
_and watch it burn . . ._  
_We've passed the point_  
_of no return . . ._

_~ The Point of No Return, The Phantom of the Opera_

* * *

If the preacher were still alive, Jayne reckoned he'd be getting some gorram lecture 'bout how he was headed straight for the special hell. Course, there were more'n one person convinced he was goin' there anyway. This just might tip him over the edge. River was still asleep in the bed as Jayne watched her, exhausted from the night before. He hadn't been with a virgin since he himself had been one.

He'd known she was one - 'tween the academy and her life on Serenity, when'd she'd have the chance to loose it? Still, he probabloly should have gone slower, been sweeter - hell, anything but actin' a runtin' fool so excited for female fleshy parts. He never felt guilty about his sex life, but she made him feel guilty.

"She didn't want it to be sweet, needed the heat," River murmured drowsily, her eyes watching him. "Stop feeling guilty."

"Gorramit, who said I were?" Jayne snapped.

"She can read him. He can never lie good."

"Told ya not to go reading me," he growled as River wrapped her body in the sheet, his manhood perkin' up again.

"No need, Jayne was never good at lying. He has tells," River's fingers trailing over his bare flesh. "Shows his lies in his eyes. She wanted this. No more guilt, dong ma?"

"Yer gonna kill me, crazy," Jayne groaned as she dropped the sheet, his fingers digging into her flesh.

"Just the little death," River giggled.


	17. Sleeping With a Ghost: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Sleeping With a Ghost  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot and McSeedys.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Inara/Kaylee/Mal  
Spoilers: Post Serenity. AU - Simon died after Miranda  
Summary: Moving on is hard to do  
Words: 199  
A/N: More sessions at McSeedy's. Also, angst warning.  
Dedication: To deadpoetwoffie, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Sleeping With a Ghost_

_McSeedy's Pub and Hostel, Persephone_

_Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of_  
_Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat_

_~ Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off,_  
_Panic! At the Disco_

* * *

Kaylee had mourned him long enough, and Inara and Mal couldn't watch her pain any longer. They'd lost three of their own, and it was time to move on. None of them could be sure why they had chosen this act to move them on, why there was such a need for the release, why three bodies moving in unison had been the magical remedy. Why each time Mal entered her, she had to picture Simon's face in his place, just as he put Inara's in hers.

And it had worked for a time, the need was sated. But Kaylee's heart was still broken, and Mal and Inara were still on rocky footing. They knew they were sleeping with a ghost, thinking of how it would be if Simon hadn't died on Mr. universe's moon. But they never said it out loud, and it worked, for a while, and long enough to keep them flying.


	18. The Error of Your Ways: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: The Error of Your Ways  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Mal/River  
Spoilers: Post Serenity  
Summary: And here she thought shed have to do all the heavy lifting..  
Words: 323  
A/N: Maver is where Mal is the driving force, and Ral is when River is. Yes, I was that crazy.  
Dedication: To yamiselene, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_The Error of Your Ways_

_The Bridge_

_When it slips from your hand_  
_When there's no time for joking_  
_There's a hole in the plan_

_~ Say It Right, Nelly Furtado_

* * *

And here she thought she'd have to do all the heavy lifting, River Tam pondered as she guided _Serenity_ down through the atmosphere. Mal had been the first to make a move, however innocently he tried to play it off. River, having developed a deep crush for her captain, and his big damn hero tendencies had earned him a place in her heart. But it wasn't until yet another one of his jobs didn't go smooth that either of them acted.

Dear Buddha, did that man have a tendency to wind up naked, unarmed and alone! He was lucky River could find him even when he was stark naked. She was very good at finding lost things, especially her captain.

She gently landed _Serenity _and raced down the catwalks, past her brother, Jayne, Kaylee and Zoe. The rest of the crew followed as she raced out through the airlock doors and ran barefoot across the desert floor towards a rock where Mal was laying.

"He is naked _again_," River said loudly, hands on her hips as she stood near him. "And defenseless. Did she not drill this into his head? Naked in the desert is bad, Mal."

"Ah, heck, I'm just workin on my tan lines, you know how I hate those."

"Tan lines are appealing," River mocked.

"So you keep telling me."

"She likes it even better without all the danger to her captain."

"You're too pale, you need some sun," Mal sighed, his hand snaking out to pull her closer to the rock, and they both laughed as she stumbled into his lap.

"Simon will not be pleased," River murmured, her eyes half closed.

"Nah, not for a while, then I suspect lil Kaylee'll pull him 'round," Mal replied, leaning up to press his lips to hers.


	19. Lay Your Burdens Down: 22 for 22

Series:22 for 22  
Title: Lay Your Burdens Down  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them. I own the plot.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Mal/River  
Spoilers: Post Serenity  
Summary: Lay your burdens down in the arms of one who loves you  
Words: 171  
A/N: hmm.  
Dedication: To caitiona_3, who requested the characters and the quote source. **  
**

**_Twenty-Two for Twenty-Two_**

_Lay Your Burdens Down_

_The Mess_

_Believe in what you feel inside_  
_And give your dreams the wings to fly_  
_You have everything you need_  
_If you just believe_

_~ Believe, Josh Groban_

* * *

River never thought there would be peace in her mind, in the 'verse or in his heart before Miranda. Never thought it possible to see a way through it all. And yet, here they were on the raggedy edge of the known 'verse hoping against hope to find their way through.

And yet, both of their hearts were heavy. Their actions - not Jayne's, Inara's, Zoe's, Kaylee's, Shepherd Book's, Wash's or Simon's (well, maybe a little bit of his) - had brought the 'verse down on them. They alone were responsible.

"Don't go thinkin on it too hard now, _dong ma_?" Mal said quietly, startling her out of her reverie.

"Are you a reader now?" River asked, giving him a tiny smile.

"No, just good at reading people, Albatross," Mal replied, guiding her through fear to bring her back to safety again.


	20. Make It Easier: 22 for 22

Series: Twelve Days of Christmas  
Title: December Thirty-First  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns them all - that lucky bastard.  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Mal/Mr. Universe, Lenore the Love-bot  
Spoilers: post all series & movie  
Summary: Not all gifts come to us on Christmas Day - ring in the new year with a new friend.  
Words: 193  
A/N: Slash is not my strong suit, but I tried, as per the request.

Dedication:

_**Twelve Days of Christmas**  
December Thirty-First  
Mr. Universe's Planet_

To prehistoric_sea, who requested the characters.

Mr. Universe had told him once why he had ordered Lenore the Love-Bot for himself as they lie together in bed, ringing in a new year that only spelled disaster for them both. Like so many other things in his life, Mr. Universe had done it because it was easy. It was easier to explain to what little family he had left that he'd fallen for a stunningly beautiful blonde named Lenore than explain to them his love for a stunningly handsome smuggler.

It was easier to forget that their time together was so small, so wonderful in its simplicity. Something so simple and true that could often be overshadowed by the ghost in the room, of that other stunningly gorgeous creature that haunted Mal's mind all the time. Inara.

Mal had asked him in the morning before racing back to _Serenity_ why the Love-Bot had been in the room when they were together. Mr. Universe only gave him that goofy charming smile as he kissed the bots hand affectionately.

"Lenore likes to watch."

And part of Mal knew that Mr. Universe was just adding his own ghost to their union. To make the parting easier.


	21. Breaking His Word: 22 for 22

Series:Twelve Days of Christmas  
Title: January Fourth  
Author: Jmaria  
Rating: FR-15  
Disclaimer: Joss owns all things Firefly  
Fandom(s): Firefly/Serenity  
Character(s): Mal/River  
Spoilers: postSerenity  
Summary: Not all gifts come to us on Christmas Day - breaking my resolutions.  
Words: 208  
A/N: no real note, other than to say it changed from the original plan  
Dedication: To yamiselene, who requested the characters.

**__**

Twelve Days of Christmas  
January Fourth  
The Br_idge_

Weren't even four days into the new year that little River Tam shattered his new year's resolution. He wasn't gonna think on her too deeply. No, he was just gonna go and take a page outta Jayne's book and find a good girl that didn't live on his ship and befuddle his mind in such a way that River did. He was gonna stop being a lecherous hump and leave the poor little slightly crazy girl alone. Yup. He was gonna do it.

"Her captain is being rude again," River murmured quietly to him, scaring him half to death with her feminine crazy-girl ways. "He does not comprehend the severity of his actions."

"Oh, he does too much comprehendin' these days, lil albatross," Mal froze a bit as her fingers trailed over the chair and onto his shoulders.

"Then why does he confuse YoSaffBridge with his albatross?" River murmured, her hand raising his face up to see into her eyes. "There is no hell in the certainty of my heart. Special things happen when he believes in her, but nothing to do with hell in their hearts."

And that was all it took to shatter his resolution to himself. He'd never been happier in his whole life to break his word.


End file.
